Monday, November 4, 2013

The Bihari Biloo.....

Geographically I am a Bihari, ethnically I am a Hindu, physically I am dashing and biologically, I am a cat. This pretty much sums up my 6-month old stint on Earth. I was born in India (well precisely, in a litterbox in India, but I think only India will do.) Now do not think of me as a lower-caste cat. I have a very strong lineage, which I shall try to trace back as far as possible but for now, I would like you to think of my birth as that of a lotus in a muddy pond, I hope you realize that my emphasis is on the fact that even great things can be born in a "kachra ka dabba".
    On my best days, I appear beige coloured with a few stripes here and there. I know now you want to know my colour on my "not-so-good" days, haan-haan what if you meet me someday and want to identify me from amongst the wannabe cats roaming in the locality?  well, your question need not be answered for precisely two reasons.

  1. I shall never be found roaming among the "Wannabe cats" and you shall never need to identify me.........

 2. I try not to make appearences on my "not-so-good" days. I do not believe in simply putting on a Bermuda and tee  with no makeup and strolling here and there. My God! what pathetic sights such humans make!!!

Anyways, like I said I was born in Bihar, unfortunately I had to share my mother's uterus with two other semi-cats. They never had the potential to become cats. I shall refer to them as Semi from now forth. Well, one of them is my twin, Tiloo. Frankly, I think he has Casperger's Syndrome or maybe even Cautism. My mother wouldn't believe me, but trust me you just cannot hide such stuff! Right now Tils lives with me, he nibbles at my feet now and then and is pretty much okay. You know Doable sibling.

 Before I tell you about Frankoo, the other semi, I want you to remember that in every family there is a person; who you would be better off without. A person who is the lemon in your family, and you just cannot make lemonade with them . You know a cloud without a silver lining. Pretty bleak stuff...

 This Bleak person is my other sibling Mr.Frankoo- the Mobster. I had my doubts about Mr.F since the day I laid my eyes on him. Shady character he is. His ominous black fur and those glaring eyes. If it were for me, I would have donated him in the annual charity but my mother (like all mothers) did not heed my advice. She was pretty sure he would grow up better. I think he reminded her of our father, that ugliness trust me is not in my mother's genes. Anyways, then the only thing this Mr. F could do was drool. It was tedious but mother was sure, it was only a matter of time before he could control his saliva. Dear God! now all I wish for (other than his sudden death) is for him to start drooling again. He fell into bad company.......became a typical criminal and thankfully he does not live with me. Well, enough about that rough Frankoo. I better push the skeletons back in the closet.

So that is pretty much my "family". Yes, I had a father (who doesn't) but it is one of the few things, which we do not discuss. None of us have ever seen him. I tried asking my mother but then she avoids the question just as a Rabbit avoids a cat. Throws zig-zags and circumvents the question entirely. Anyways, I am better off not knowing or so I feel.

 My mother (Catwati), aahh...is a pretty pious lady. A sweet soul but she has just one small flaw. She has a fetish for Humans. A fetish which at times becomes a little too difficult to control. Once she sees the "Two-legged" creatures, she starts frolicking around, smelling their toes and flashing them a sly grin...... But then one has to play the cards dealt.

  I think that is enough of an introduction. Btw do you know that a cat sleeps for almost 15-20 hours a day? Of course, you didn't! you have been pestering me for so long now..... Go there is more to life than just a cat.............

BB.
  

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